Bad Habit

I can’t get you outta my mind.
No matter how hard I to try to fight it
You occupy my thoughts with every waking moment
I don’t wanna think about you the way I do
I don’t wanna think about ur touch
Ur smile
Ur scent
Ur kiss
Not only have you taken over my thoughts
You’ve taken over my heart
The one part of me I thought I had control over
The part of me that I keep tucked away from the world
The part of me that shows who I really am
The part of me that hid from love
Just by being who you are
You made it easy to open the door and let love in
You are my bad habit
The addiction that I just don’t want to quit
Everyday I need my fix
Just one hit
I know I shouldn’t need you like I do
I shouldn’t depend on your substance to get me through the day
I shouldn’t yearn for that feelgood moment
I shouldn’t crave a love high
I can’t get you outta my system
Quite frankly I don’t know if I want to
I dunno if I wanna give up the piece of my heart that u hold
I dunno if I wanna give up the feeling of euphoria after my fix
I dunno if I wanna give up the one thing that makes everything alright
That I can’t get outta my mind
That I can’t get outta my heart
That I can’t get outta my soul
You are my bad habit

I’m Gonna Let Go

I’m gonna let go of the fear of the unknown
And embrace all the love that you have shown
I’m gonna let go of the hurt from the past
And trust that this love is gonna last
I’m gonna let go of the pain shadowing my heart
And know we’ll be together forever and never part
I’m gonna let go of the anger that I feel inside
And lean on the strength of the man by my side
I’m gonna let go of the bars protecting my love
And focus on what was heaven sent from above
I’m gonna let go of the key that unlocks my soul
And believe you’re the piece of the puzzle that makes me whole
I’m gonna let go of the notion of being single and lonely
And feel your arms are there to protect and hold me
I’m gonna let go of the armor that’s shielding my body
And yield to the sensation of feeling you inside of me
I’m gonna let go of the shades blocking my eyes
And wake up with you every morning to watch the sunrise
I’m gonna let go of the negative energy that’s draining me
And say “I do” to my love and live happily
I’m gonna let go of all these things to reveal who I am
And believe you will accept me just as I am
I’m gonna let go….

iWrite

As I write I let go of all that’s within
I write for no one’s approval but for my soul
To be free with mind and spirit
Released are complicated emotions
My words are the tears that you don’t see
The ones I refuse to cry but happily express through words
I write to understand myself
Who I was
Who I am
Who I want to become
Life has made me a poet
My joy
My pain
My laughter
My heartache
My faith
My life
I write through my experiences
Self prescribed antidote
There’s no method to my creativity
I just listen and let the words flow
I allow myself to be a muse
Poetry and I have formed a faultless marriage
The lover who loves me unconditionally
Accepts me with all my flaws
Understands that I’m not perfect
And believes in my words
I write because I can escape
I can turn my realities into fantasy
My fantasies into poetry
I write because I am in love
With my gift of verse

O

*beep beep*

Hmm a txt message, “I’ll be home in 20 minutes.” O.

With the thought of him coming home to me my heart begins to pump at a rapid pace. My body aches in anticipation of his touch. O. Cinnamon brown skin with deep set intense chocolate eyes, yes this black man was coming home to me.

19 minutes

As I turn on the shower I can already feel his breath on my neck. O. Just as he is with me, I must be patient. I hurriedly enter the bedroom and sprayed myself with his favorite scent on me. Strong, kind, loving, educated, yes this black man was heaven sent.

9 minutes

I slip into my pink floral chemise and matching panty, can’t forget the pumps! Thinking of him always makes me feel more of a woman. O. Masculine hands to fight the toughest battles but gentle enough for his woman’s touch, yes this black man knew how to please.

6 minutes

Searching for tea light candles I reminisce on our last rendezvous and how his lips connected to my body. O. Lips so soft linked magnetically to every curve that makes me a woman, yes this black man desires me and only me.

5 minutes

For us I’ve created a net of passion inside a theme of love.

4 minutes – Living Room

Pineapple and Pomegranate, Teddy P. – Turn off the Lights

3 minutes – Bathroom

French Vanilla, Tank- Slowly

2 minutes - Bedroom

Black Cherry, Floetry – Say Yes

1 minute

For so long I’ve prayed for this black man, my black man. To celebrate my life, my soul, my heart, my spirit and also my temple. O.

*keys jingle*

O

Don’t Make Me Love You

Don’t moan my name in the morning tenderly in my ear
Don’t kiss me on that spot that makes me…..
Don’t grab my hips and hold me so tight
Don’t breathe on my neck and inhale my scent
Don’t make me love you

Don’t look into my eyes like I’m the only one for you
Don’t sweep the hair from my face and tell me I’m beautiful
Don’t reach for my hand because you see I’m scared
Don’t hug me like you’re my protector
Don’t make me love you

Don’t get along with my friends like you’ve known them for years
Don’t treat my mother like the other #1 lady in your life
Don’t embrace my family as an extension of yours
Don’t show your charm to the people close to me
Don’t make me love you

Don’t profess your intentions to love me unconditionally
Don’t proclaim me to be the reason you have joy
Don’t flash that sexy smile and make me weak
Don’t wipe away my tears and tell me the pain is in the past
Don’t make me love you

Don’t admire my curves and tell me my shape is perfect
Don’t pretend to not know how your touch makes me melt
Don’t look in my eyes and pull back the curtains on the window to my soul
Don’t enter my heart and plant a love seed
Don’t make me love you

Don’t get down on one knee and explain the difference I’ve made in your life
Don’t vow to be there in sickness and in health
Don’t lay your head on my womb to listen to the heartbeat of our future
Don’t look at me at 74 and say your just as gorgeous as the day we met
Don’t make me love you

CHANGES

In life we go through changes
Phases to take us through the ages

As a child we live carefree
Summers filled with sun and beauty
Water balloon fights
Scared of the boogeyman, “Mommy please leave on the light”
Grandma’s porch watching the rain fall
The next Magic on the courts playing ball
Brown eyed little one skin of copper
I’m gonna be a lawyer, teacher, singer, doctor
Easter Sunday dressed in my best
I remember my speech better than all the rest


When we’re teenagers our bodies transform
Nothing at all seems to be the norm
The hot girl or guy in school always in focus
Do everything we can to make him or her notice
“Daddy I’m grown I can do whatever I please”
Don’t have everything you want but have everything you need
My first boyfriend, he kissed me last night
My first girlfriend, she gave none last night
Colleges and universities; my dream or the dream before me?
I’m 18, serve my country and represent the army?


Now an adult life is more complex
Not knowing what dream to seek after next
Am I everything I claim to be?
Or am I holding back afraid to be me?
Career path envied my many
Don’t knock me for fulfilling my destiny
“How do I let go of my baby” a parents cry
You don’t worry because God is your most high
We court, she said “yes”, “I do”
My vow to spend the rest of my life with you


In life we go through changes

Phases to take us through the ages

Ask Yourself

Am I doing what God wants?
Am I walking by faith and not by sight?
Am I turning the other cheek when the world slaps me in the face?
Am I seeking in His word when man doesn’t have the answer?

Ask yourself.

Am I praying just because I want something? Or,
Am I praying because I know when the praises go up, the blessings come down?
Am I living a life that Jesus would be proud of?
Am I loving my enemy even when I’ve been wronged?

Ask yourself.

Am I thanking God for His works and miracles?
Am I representing myself as being made in His image?
Am I asking myself what would Jesus do?
Am I putting my love for man before my love for God?

Ask yourself.

Am I believing He knows what’s best for me?
Am I trusting in His promise to me?
Am I able to praise your name amongst the non-believers?
Am I able to say I love Jesus without being ashamed?

Ask yourself.

Am I able to lead by example through your commandments?
Am I spreading the gospel in order to reach lost souls?
Am I following in your light?
Am I living the covenant I committed to when I was baptized?

Ask yourself.

Am I singing to the heavens in jubilee?
Am I dancing like David danced?
Am I confusing Satan by speaking in tongues?
Am I praying in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit?

Ask yourself.

Am I preparing myself for Jesus’ return?
Am I listening when you say, “Go”?
Am I worthy of my robe and my mansion?
Am I loving myself as you have loved me?

Ask yourself.