Sunday, March 14, 2010

Mother To Son

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now—
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

-Langston Hughes

We Had Him

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing, now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace. Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing. No clocks can tell time. No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.

Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love, family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style. We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.

His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.

And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing. He gave us all he had been given.

Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana's Black Star Square.

In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England

We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

-Maya Angelou

Friday, March 12, 2010

One Life To Live

I’m living this life for me and only me
Gotta listen to my heart and set myself free
For so long I’ve felt trapped unable to spread my wings
Liberated now I sit back and count my blessings
With faith the size of a mustard seed I’m still able to grow
Though sometimes I’m unsure of how the future may go
I have angels in my life always by my side
Always there to be my support and my guide
I’m thankful for all the wisdom they’ve shared
Helping me to expand to places I haven’t dared
I have to remind myself that I’m not here to please others
But to be a vessel to my sisters and brothers
I must do what’s best for me and let my light shine
I have to go after what I want and claim what’s mine
I know some won’t understand my way or His will
Can’t hold back anymore there’s a void to fill
We all desire two things: happiness and love
I’m closer to one with help from above
My love will come when God says its time
Someone just for me blessed and divine
I admit at times I’m hesitant to believe
I gotta take a chance and be willing to receive
As I write ahead to the new chapter in my book
I try to keep a smile on my face with a positive outlook
One day I’ll look back on this journey and see how far I’ve come
In the end I’ll have life’s desires and proclaim a job well done

I need

Need to be loved from the walls of my soul
Need my spirit to be touched
I need to feel strength

Need to know my beauty is powerful
Need to know my body is satisfactory
I need to feel wanted

Need to know my mind is brilliant
Need to know my knowledge is wise
I need to feel respect

Need to know my past is gone
Need to know the future is promising
I need to feel secure

Need to know my emotions are valued
Need to know my weaknesses don’t define me
I need to feel cherished

Need my wishes to come true
Need my desires to be satisfied
I need my destiny fulfilled

Need my faith to be reassured
Need to know that it’ll bring me through the storm
I need my blessing

Need my light to show
Need my courage to grow
I need understanding

Need to know that my love is enough
Need to know that I am the only one
I need trust

Need to know he’s there for me
Need to know he’ll care for me
I need honesty

Need my thirst quenched
Need my well overflowing
I need intimacy

Need to know the pain is no more
Need to know affection will reign
I need love

I need

Journey

A distance or course of travel for an extended length of time, passage or progress from one stage to another….

…What is my journey and where am I leading to that will progress my mind and spirit to that place of contentment that my heart desires for my soul
…passion that burns within but the course of this passage is not in my makers plans for me
….to be free to experience my journey from one place to another to explore the woman being inside this human shelter from the reign of the enemy and the obstacles that stand in my path
…my passage
…my journey
…has been extended for so long that I begin to lose direction and sight of my end destination and the goals set before me
…where I lost direction looking UP above where the sky maps out hopes and dreams and endless possibility
…to fail when I fell DOWN and saw desperation and despair in front of me
…leaving nowhere to turn but hoping to be steered in the RIGHT direction before I got LEFT behind while the earth continued to spin
…around in circles spiraling out of control of my destiny for the freedom to be happy in a place where I am at peace because I’m too blessed to be stressed
…out on this path I am reminded that I am alone without the heart that was made just for me to have and to hold
…onto the dream that we can be one we must first be one apart two come together when His will says its time
…is ticking but what’s the rush when I still have yet to fulfill my rights of passage of progression from one stage to another guiding the course to
….my journey

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Bad Habit

I can’t get you outta my mind.
No matter how hard I to try to fight it
You occupy my thoughts with every waking moment
I don’t wanna think about you the way I do
I don’t wanna think about ur touch
Ur smile
Ur scent
Ur kiss
Not only have you taken over my thoughts
You’ve taken over my heart
The one part of me I thought I had control over
The part of me that I keep tucked away from the world
The part of me that shows who I really am
The part of me that hid from love
Just by being who you are
You made it easy to open the door and let love in
You are my bad habit
The addiction that I just don’t want to quit
Everyday I need my fix
Just one hit
I know I shouldn’t need you like I do
I shouldn’t depend on your substance to get me through the day
I shouldn’t yearn for that feelgood moment
I shouldn’t crave a love high
I can’t get you outta my system
Quite frankly I don’t know if I want to
I dunno if I wanna give up the piece of my heart that u hold
I dunno if I wanna give up the feeling of euphoria after my fix
I dunno if I wanna give up the one thing that makes everything alright
That I can’t get outta my mind
That I can’t get outta my heart
That I can’t get outta my soul
You are my bad habit

I’m Gonna Let Go

I’m gonna let go of the fear of the unknown
And embrace all the love that you have shown
I’m gonna let go of the hurt from the past
And trust that this love is gonna last
I’m gonna let go of the pain shadowing my heart
And know we’ll be together forever and never part
I’m gonna let go of the anger that I feel inside
And lean on the strength of the man by my side
I’m gonna let go of the bars protecting my love
And focus on what was heaven sent from above
I’m gonna let go of the key that unlocks my soul
And believe you’re the piece of the puzzle that makes me whole
I’m gonna let go of the notion of being single and lonely
And feel your arms are there to protect and hold me
I’m gonna let go of the armor that’s shielding my body
And yield to the sensation of feeling you inside of me
I’m gonna let go of the shades blocking my eyes
And wake up with you every morning to watch the sunrise
I’m gonna let go of the negative energy that’s draining me
And say “I do” to my love and live happily
I’m gonna let go of all these things to reveal who I am
And believe you will accept me just as I am
I’m gonna let go….